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BACK (PEW) TO SCHOOL

School Days, School Days..
Dear old Golden Rule days
'Reading and 'riting and 'rithmetic
Taught to the tune of the hick'ry stick hick’ry stick? 

This is so not politically correct! and.. I LIKE IT!


schoolprayerBack with a Back Pack..
Back to school begins traditionally the day after Labor day in America. Parents, students, and teachers transition from vacations, picnics, and the beach to a world of chalk boards, text books, report cards, and a possible trip to the principle's office.

Don't Mind me..  
BPLand schools offer a well rounded education, but unlike American Politicians our deep personal faith will affect our policy decisions. Happy is the nation whose God is the Lord.. and so it goes without saying the same should be true at school.


A Venue to CELEBRATE..  
Christmas beyond Santa Claus,
Easter beyond the Easter Bunny.  
We sing God bless America, and the Star Spangled Banner, and say the Pledge.

The Pledge of Allegeance 
is recited every morning and the phrase one nation under God is not a point of contention, but instead a point of emphasis.

Prayer in School..
Along with a few silent but passionate prayers by an occasional unprepared student we are not afraid of a school prayer, AND this prayer will not be from the deity of the month club.

Meet you at the Pole..
We also participate in the Meet you at the Pole Prayer time .. weather permitting then head inside to continue our ongoing attitude of prayer.

Our education philosopy blends the three Rs with one God. 1+1=2, the first president of the United States was George Washington, and the one true God is the God from our Bibles. 

Communications..

2 way communications  between students and teachers is promoted to ensure fairness. Excuses no matter how flimsy or how tall the tale will be met with an open mind. Grades will be communicated to parents and students allowing parents 'gently' exhort a child's success. 

So there you have it..  Whether public, private, home schooled, OR the school of hard knocks (of which I am in my 57th year). May God bless and use students, teachers, and parents in great ways... and FOR HIS GLORY.

Love God, care for others.. Trust God and lean not unto your understanding.. in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths. The rest of life in comparison is TRIVIAL PURSUIT.

 

So let me leave you with an outline gleaned from the core curriculum at our 

BPland Academy for Godly Brainiacs 

harleypreacherredneck greatcommission
Language Arts..
ENG002 – GIT-R-DUN red neck evangelism

ENG099 - Harley Speak 
ENG100- Bible Reading & Root Canals getting past Leviticus
ENG200- Word Hiding
E NG300- Good News Evangelism


Sharing the good news via written and spoken word

 


adam multiplicationMath..
MT001- Multiplication 4 beginners
MT100- Add It Up lessons for life
MT110- Story Problems 

MT200- Everyday Math 





God's message by the numbers is taught and learned. 3 loaves and fish feed a multitude.. and stuff like
 that.

rev bookoflife
Stats & Probabilities..
ST100- Potluck Drool and other certainties in life.

ST110- Coffee Probabilities 
ST400- Book of Life 

 

 

CalculationsThe certainty of Heaven for all who believe is emphasized in all statistics classwork.



Science..
SC001- The Big Bangbigbang

SC100- Evolution v Creation
SC110- Weather & Climate 
SC220- Weather Forecasting 
SC300- Global Warming 

SC301- Global Flooding
SC400- Enstein

 Where Science and Faith are Friends

 

 

 

Information Technologies..
modernmarriageIT100- High speed Bible Learning

IT101- Computers are from the DEVIL 
IT120- Email basics 

IT200- Geek 2 Greek Translators 
IT300- The Computer Virus and elders who are geeks
IT500- God and Social Media 

IT1000- Technology replacing conversation

computers are an amazing blessing and curse in today's society

 


lazarus schoolPhysics..
PH100- Big Bang aka Creation
PH101- Dust+breathofGod=Adam
PH102- One Male Rib made into  Beautiful Woman
PH200- Parting Seas for Dummies

PH300- Water Walking 
PH400- Advanced Storm Calming
PH410- Raising the Dead (seniors only)

all the laws of nature are TRUMPED at His command.

 

prosperitygospeldropouts
Economics..
EC100- Financial Planning Basics
EC200- Money & Nerves

EC300- MLM with just mites
EC400- True Prosperity 
EC401- Treasures v Loans

In the end.. it's only money

 

 

 

 

route666 2drive noeyes
Drivers Education..

DE100- Drivers Ed = Prayer in School
DE110- Teen Drivers(Dos & Don’ts.. mostly Don’ts)
DE200- Rush Hour Sinners .. drive, but SIN NOT
DE400- EYES ON the Road v distracted driving
DE401- GPS v LOST

The road to Heaven is narrow, but to Hell it a reckless autobahn of motor madness

 

Music..
worship coneofsilence
MS100- The Joyful Noises 

MS101- Kazoo Hero
MS2000- Guitar
MS210- Piano
MS300- Mosh Pit Safety
MS400- Banjo .. sweet as an angel's harp

 

 

 

 

 

 


Physical Education.. 
worship and karatePE100- Runing the Good Race while looking good

PE200- Muscles without Steroids

PE300– Don’t Do Dat .. lessons in sports medicine
PE400- Karate & Worship 


A Healthy Body to go with a Healthy Mind is our goal

 

 

csi chads
Political Science..

PS100- God n Country with professor Uncle Sam.
PS110- Justice and other fairy tales.

PS200- Voting and other jokes
PS300- Counting Votes using all your fingers and toes and MORE.

We teach our students to have a deep personal faith reflected in their votes and civil involvment.

 

 

 

elijahfedbyravensHome Economics...
joseph and jacob
HE100- Feed a Multitude on a budget

HE120- The Feasts of our Ancestors
HE200- Raven Culinary Arts
HE300- How to make your own Coat of Many Colors 
HE301- Stew worthy of a birth right

 Handy around the Home

 

 

 

 


Health & Diet..

HL101- Resurrection 101
HL200- Advanced Resurrections 
HL300- Elder Calling
DI100- Diet Busters basics
DI200- Donut Diet no nos
DI300- Face in a bottle? NO!
DI400- Body Temples                                                                        

eat right, get plenty of sleep, and no vices to hurt the body



Industrial Arts 
babelaka SHOP.. 

IA100- Ark Building
IA200 - Tower Building

We teach construction with the philosopy.. If we build it.. they will come.

 

 

 

 


eden blamegame
History..

emptytomb 4saleHS100 – In the Beginning

HS200 Gospels Times
HS201- The First Church
HS400 - Planning for Tomorrow

Social Studies..

SS100- Livin Leviticus-Loca  taught by Ricky Martin

 

 

 

( AFTER SCHOOL ACTIVITIES include )


angel1 trumpetfire
BAND

B100– Marching Bands bringin down da house!
B200– Angel Trumpet Troupe
B101- Big Horn Sheep Jazz 


 

 

 

 

 

 

THE AUDIO VISUAL CLUB the loud and the proud AV100 – VR Church outreach to a geeky world

ROTC 

M100 – West Point Victories on a Budget
M200 – Jawbone Martial Arts

SPORTS

FootballBaseballBasketball, and more… 

Art..

ART100- Draw Unto the Lord  The importance of coloring inside the lines.

There is only 1 art class dedicated to sharing clean humor & God's Truth taught by the BPLand president and founder Jeff Larson (aka me).

draw ifyoumust  drawclosetogod  larsonkid

CONCLUSION..
As evident by the above curriculum, BPLand is a caring, nurturing environment where spirit and academics are blended seamlessly like a well made PB&J sandwich.  

Blessings and Happy Educating in 2014.

Jeff


The Back Pew is
 a collection of Christian cartoons and writings sharing Clean Humor and God's Truth.  

The Back Pew believes you can have a sense of humor and still be allowed in Heaven.

 

 

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