According to the Back Pew...
JESUS GENEOLOGY: Though Jesus geneology was interesting, it did not include a Genie in a Lamp Mt 1:1-17, Lk 3:23-38 but was related to a guy named Jehoshephat! Mt 1:8 JOHN THE BAPTIST: (Lk 1) was the son of oldies but goodies ZEKE and LIZ? who were 'blessed' with a pregnancy in their old age (is that an oxymoron?) Now because Zeke doubted the angelic pregger prophecy he became speechless..but on the positive side made him very good at that party favorite CHARADES. Meanwhile in a near by carpenter shop an Angel visits Joseph Mt 1:20 with some other more big news leading up to the purpose of the Gospels.. The life of Jesus!THE BIRTH OF JESUS: That First CHRISTMAS was complete with wisemen, shepherds, and angels heard on high while baby Jesus was born in a stable in Bethlehem.Later on SIMEON in his old age sees Jesus the Messiah. Lk 2:25-35JESUS IN THE TEMPLE: After this, at the age of 12 Jesus is found in the Temple talking shop and chatting theology with the temple leaders. Lk 2:41-52. This temple adventure then turns to high drama when Mary realizes their son Jesus was.. HOME ALONE!!
Next.. JOHN THE BAPTIST enters the scene as that VOICE in the desert.. Lk 3:4 preparing the way of the Lord wearing doning the Baptist Fashions of the day Mt 3. JB was the inventor of that summer Xgames favorite .. Cannonball Baptism, and inspired the modern day Snake Handler Church Mt 3:7.
And though he was John the 'BAPTIST' his diet did not consist of your typical Baptist Potluck cuisine instead it was the crunchy sweet snack of locusts and honey.. mmm.. mmm! Mk 1:6. This led up to the Baptism of Jesus Mk 1:9-11 marked the Beginning of Christ's Ministry with Doves.. not VULTURES. Mt 3:16
THE TEMPTATION OF JESUS: (Mt 4 & Lk 4) in the wilderness was performed first hand by SATAN himself, and not one of his lackeys , to turn STONES into bread , WORSHIP the devil? ,and to JUMP! .. BUT finally Satan pouts and decides to take his bag of tricks and GO HOME! nah, nah, na, nah, nah! THE FIRST MIRACLE OF JESUS:was turning H2O Into Wine: (John 2) This raised the question whether this was a Miracle or Magic, and left a few unimpressed , and a few others concerned if the Health Inspector would equate Clean Feet with Dirty Wine.
A short while later Jesus Clears the Temple (John 2:14-19) because it looked more like a shopping mall than a house of God. Jesus then trash talks the local temple builders union with his threats to DESTROY IT! and build it back up himself.. WITHOUT A UNION CARD!
BORN AGAIN: Nicodemus next meets with Jesus to discuss the birthing process (John 3), and initially was no less confused with spiritual re-birth than my son first read John 3:16 of God's only begotten son not FORGOTTEN Son . The LIGHT (John 3:19) of this dark world is Jesus which my DOG understands, better than HOLLYWOOD. AND remember Light defeats Darkness everytime(John 3:19-21) . Even if it may leave you feeling LIGHT headed, out of breath, with your stomach growling. John 3:30
THE SAMARITAN WOMAN at the well (John 4) - was offered living water that refreshes without a caffiene buzz or aftertaste.. and then it dawned on her.. Jesus is not some ordinary guy with questionable powers found on the the local physic hotline. He was the DUDE!
Next JESUS IS REJECTED in his own home town of Nazareth. Jesus escapes Lk 4:28-30 but shortly there after casts out a demon in Caperneum like a Norwegian finding heartburn relief from eating hot peppers in their lutefisk. How do U spell RELIEF? J-E-S-U-S Lk 4:31-36
HIS DISCIPLES ARE THEN CHOSEN (Mt. 4:19, Mk 1:14-19) though I don't recall all their names. many were master fishermen but Jesus taught them a lesson or two on catching fish Lk 5:1-11. After their fishing lesson Jesus challenged them to be Fishers of Men, yes.. Fishers of Men. WINESKINS (Mk 2:22, Lu 5:37) were one of the many parables Jesus used and which has since been paraphrased by Red Green , and by my own experiences in the job Interview process. .. and those PANTS don't fit! THE DOCTOR IS IN- Among Jesus many miracles was healing the sick Mt 8:1-4, lame (john 5), blind, demon possessed Mk 1:21-28, the paralyzed Mk 3:1-5, those unsightly skin condtions Mk 1:40-45, the Deaf Mk 7:32-37, withered HANDS, and about everyone else. All it takes is the Touch of HIS GARMENT Mt 9:18-26 and faith to be healed, because God knows the number of HAIRS on your Head Mt 10:30 and cares for each of us.
Jesus the great physician was there for the sick Mk 2:15-16 and not a well doctor care specialist. Lk 5:31 He did house calls, but also the more unconventional ROOF CALL . Of course one man's healing is another man's THIN ICE. Mk 1:29-31, AND.. the whole idea of the dead rising from the grave had a few thinking is this man Elijah returned or STEVEN KING?? Jo 5:28.
So though despite the fact.. the dead lived, the sick were healed, and the blind could now see this all fueled the angst of many against Jesus.
Jesus words warn against the dangers of an Open Mind with an Empty Soul? Mk 3:6. 12:43-45, teaches Love your enmies even Evil-Doers? Lu 6:27, give up Your COAT but not your PANTS? Lu 6:29. Again.. remember LOVE your enemies? Lu 6:32-36, and don't JUDGE! Lu 6:37. Jesus taught the Lu 6:39 Blind should not lead the BLIND (BLB) , Lu 6:40 the proper relationship between Student and TEACHER , Lu 6:41 know the difference between a SPECK and a BEAM , Lu 6:43-44 and finally the simple truth found in a BAD Tree v GOOD Tree ,
The Sons of Thunder.. James and John Mk 3:17 SERMON ON THE MOUNT (Mt 5-7) falls next in line when reading the gospels. This sermon is a collection of Jesus teachings that captures the simple truths of God's love and hope for mankind... BUT.. folklore shares there were a few misunderstandings from a small group in the WAAYY back snacking on cheese and crackers. Mt. 5:9.
LIGHT - Jesus spoke of being LIGHT Mt. 5:14 for this dark world a light when traveling a dark path. SALT - We are called to be salt, LUTEFISK? and/or SALSA depending on your cultural surroundings.
Following The Law is just not good enough did not set well with the 'church elders' of the day. Don't be Angry with your brother? Mt 5:22, or call him a Fool!! even if your governor was once a pro wrestler.
If your eye causes you to sin don't get glasses.. Get rid of it!! Pluck it out , Mt 5:29.
WITH REGARDS TO TRUTH, let your yes be yes, no pinky swear! and realize TO TELL THE TRUTH can be RISKY! , and maybe downright DANGEROUS! (Mt 5:37).
JESUS TELL ME MORE.. Love Tax Collectors? this advice was no more popular in Jesus day than it is today thank you very much Mr. IRS! Mt 5:46 ; Jesus describes Giving Gone Bad in Mt 6:1-6 ; Wishful Thinking in Mt 6:9-13 ; how to Pr-Eh? like a Candian Mt 6:9-15 ; shared Rules for FASTING Mt 6:16 ; and the art of eating while unshaven, unshowered, and Sad? , Jesus taught the great truth that our Treasures are in Heaven Mt 6:20, Also consider the FLOWERS? Mt 6:28-29 and Judge NOT! Mt 7:1 lest ye get clobbered!
From this famous sermon I became aware of the Speck Patrol Mt 7:3-5, and while the scriptures never use the term Holy cow, they do address Holy dog? Mt 7:6., and.. snakes and rocks are not Good gifts.. go figure! Mt 7:9-11
In Conclusion - the Sermon on the Mount is a worthwhile mountain to SUMMIT!! and a Beattitude with a Bad attitude will be a lesson lost. There is the lesson about the Good Fruit v Bad Fruit. Mt 7:18-20
THE DEAD - (Mt 8:28-32, Mk 5:1-20)? Ok, now it is like Jesus is just getting warmed up because next he read of a MAN raised from the dead... Lu 7:11-17, a GIRL raised from dead and NO she was not just sleeping Mk 5:35-43.
DEMONS & PIGS - Then it is just like Jesus to pick The FIRST MISSIONARY Lu 8:38-39 not from the local seminary. But this all proves again.. it is not about the messager, it is about the message and the message is hope.. unless.. you are a Demon or Pig. So the man is exorcised to the mission field, and demons are exiled into a herd of Cliff Dive PORKY PIGS! , which despite saving this man's life alarmed the pig farmers, and spiked the PRICE of PORK... and let's not forget about KEVIN.. who was left Home Alone.
Then on the road again Jesus teaches us about The LEAST in Heaven Mt 11:11, and catches heat from the Pharisees who believe Jesus casts out demons by the power of the Devil himself Mt 12:22-24 .
Jesus follows up all this with wise counsel regarding those who mock or rejct you..Shake DUST/GUM off your feet!! Lu 9:5 and delivers my favorite ZINGER calling the Pharisees a Brood of Vipers Mt 12:22-47.
STORMY SEA? shhhh! (Mt 8, Mk 4) : Next Jesus is sleeping on a boat traveling with his discliples when they are hit be a storm that threatens their very life. So they wake Jesus and He says.. Peace Be Still which paraphrased is.. Talk to the HAND. Because Jesus CALMS THE STORM no matter if the storm is figurative or literal He will Calm the Storm.. Everytime WHOW TO FEED A MULTITUDE ON A BUDGET - Mk 6:30-44. Whether you have a hungry 5000 at McDonalds Lu 9:10-17, Mk 8:10,or 4000 McJesus is the caterer of choice. And there have been those times where I would like my junk food blessed and go a bit farther just for me.. There were the lessons of Burdens and Letting Go and Authentic v Phony Faith Mt 13:25-30 .. the PARABLE OF THE SOWER. and the Weed Wacker Judgment Mt 13 STORMS & WATER WALKING: (Mt. 14:22-25) We already have read that Jesus can calm the storm, NEXT he ups the ante and WALKS ON WATER out to his disciples during another storm who think Jesus is a ghost. Peter goes out to meet Jesus, but was as bouyant as a brick once his eyes moved from Jesus to the waves. Of course 4 months out of the year in Minnesota.. walking on water is NO BIG DEAL, and the summer months I know friends that claim to walk on water. It's all semantics. The reality I am learning today is that I NEED TO GET OUT OF THE BOAT. Start each morning with the faith of Peter, and when my faith wavers and I begin sinking, get my eyes back on Jesus and off of life's waves and Focus!! FOCUS!! like a laser beam. There were those who envied and hated Jesus, but (Jo 6:25-31) JESUS WALKED past them , it wasn't his time. There were those who criticized Jesus and his disciples for Mt 15:1-2 how and when they ate, so if they would have witnessed the Feeding of the Multitude (Mt 15:32-39) - McJesus they would have had a McFit! Mt 16:18 The GATES OF HELL.. no match , Mk 7:1-5 self-righteous with style , Mk 7:24-30 DEMON cast out on ear! , Mk 8:6 Gain the whole WORLD , Mk 8:21 Where'd you get that BREAD!? , Lu 9:26 ASHAMED of Jesus THE TRANSFIGURATION: (Mk 9:2-9, Lu 9:28-36) The TRANSFIGURATION , was a true CLOSE ENCOUNTER of the God Kind , Then onward and forward to those Lu 9:39 Tell tale signs of POSSESSION , words of perspective to follow Jesus instead of Lu 9:59 BURYING my father, first. There is the Gospel according the Long John Silver..Mk 9:43-47 It's a PIRATE'S life for me!! and comments to put FAITH (Mt. 17:20)( VV Slot Machine FAITH , MOVE MTS. ,Move Ski Hills , Microscopic Faith) into perspective. Next, after paying taxes from His Mt 17:24 Fishy Bank Jesus moved on to teach the importance of living with the Uncluttered Faith of a CHILD (Mt 18:2-3)-- Play Hard , Can't Wait to Wake Up Mt 18:19 Where TWO AGREE , Mt 18:21-22 Forgiveness , Jo 8:1-11 Survivor Jerusalem , Cast the FIRST STONE? , Jo 9 Jesus HEALS on the SABBATH , Jo 10:10 SATAN Steals Souls , Satan falls from Heaven Lk 10:17 , Demon whispers Lu 10:30-35, The GOOD SAMARITAN , Lu 11:9 KNOCK the door down? Mmm, mmm good? (Luke 11)- SNAKE Bowl? , more tartar sauce! , , Scrambled Scorpions? Lu 11:24-26 Empty Person , Lu 11:39 I said CLEAN THAT CUP! , Lu 12:4 Hurt the BODY only!! Lu 12:33-34 Sound FINANCIAL PLAN , Lk 12:39 A THIEF in the night!! AHA! , Lu 15:1-7 Finding the LOST SHEEP , PRODIGAL SON: (Lu 15:11-32) , The prodigal son is another favorite parable of Jesus sharing the fathers love, grace, and forgiveness after having his life reduced to eating WITH PIGS! Now one important note to you cow lovers, this grace and love did not carry over for the beloved family Fatted Calf. Of course the message of the prodigal son and the 5pm worker is very evident Today. Lu 16:14-17 (God NEVER changes) - The Courts, who has your ear? , - The Church who has your ear? , Lu 16:19-31 Rich man & LAZERUS , Lu 17:5-6 Watermelon seed FAITH LAZARUS: (John 11) - Get Up! , reflections of the DEAD , - I really need a MINT , Dead Man Walking Killin & Complain Jo 11:53 Let's kill Jesus!! LEFT BEHIND Luke 17:31-35 - Football , Skating , CSI Rapture , Lu 18:9-14 PRAYERS compared.. Mt 19:13-15 The LITTLE CHILDREN RICH YOUNG RULER: (Mt 19) Give it up? ha, ha , It don't mean a thing if you aint got that BLING! R-U a RYR? Lu 18:18-24 RICH MAN'S Visa THE 5PM WORKER: (Mt 20:1-16) - Then ,Today , and Basketball Version , Mt 20:16 FIRST-r-LAST, & LAST-r-FIRST , Mk 10:25 CAMEL contortionists , Mk 10:46-52 Blind Bart , Lu 19:1-9 ZACH and Lou , wee-little ZACHEUS TEMPLE IS CLEARED AGAIN: Mk 11:15-18 Temple TABLES TURNED , Lk 19:45-46 Temple SLINKEESLu 20:39-40 Jesus answers SADUCEESMore Complaining Jo 12:17-19 Nuthin' going right!! , Light and Shadows (Jo 12:35)- Don't fight in the dark. , - Rumblin', bumblin', stumblin'.. Mt 21:18-22 I hate fig newtons!! Parable of the Landowner & Tenants Mt 21:33-46, Lu 20:9-19 - Hey son, I've got a job for you- Thank you, but no , - That story is so sad , - Hey!! Render Unto Caesar (Mt 22:15-22) - Caesar's v God's , Paying taxes , - Bi-Partisan Godlessness , Mt 22:23-29 The 7 brothers RIDDLE? , Mt 22: Wedding Parable Mt 22:37-40 WISHFUL THINKING , Mt 23:4 Heavy Burdens , Mt 22:39 Love your NEIGHBOR.. the jerkMk 12:1-12 The FARM GANG Parable , Mk 12:18-27 SADUCEE Spin , Mk 12:30 WORSHIP like it's 1999! , Mk 12:34 Love God LOVE GOD!! , Mk 12:38-40 (churching for $$) , Mk 12:41-44 True v Comfortable GIVING Scribes & Phairsees (Mt 23) -GNAT Swallowing , Swallow CAMELS , - Chicken of the Sea?- Cup Clean outside, but Dirty in , - Pedicures & Empty Souls , - High Priest Skeptic True Giving: (Lu 21:1-4) - The Widow's Gift , Widow's MLM? BE READY..when Jesus RETURNS! Mk 13:5 To Tell the truth (false christs), Mk 13:26 LOOK, up in the sky!! , Mk 13:32-33 Are you READY?? Persecution Warnings Mt 24:9 The MARKETING of Christianity BE READY Mt 24:36-42 A THIEF in the night I , and A THIEF in the night II , Mt 25:1-30 Spiritual Snooze Alarm , and Salvation Snooze Alarm Mt 25:31-46 Spiritual Couch Potato , Mt 25 Bridesmaids , Mt 26:4 Wanted Posters , Simon's Dinner Party Mk 14:1-2 - FINGER FOODS at Simon's , Mk 14:3-5 - Guys don't like SMELLY STUFF! , Mk 14:10-11 - The price of INFAMY , Jo 12:4-6 Judas is aghast Jo 12:9-11 Let's kill Lazarus!! , 12:46 Light shining in the Darkness , Lu 22:27 To SERVE or not to serve? , Mk 14:22-26 Communion? , Someday Heaven Jo 14:1-2 I go to prepare a place for you!! This all leads us up to .. THE FINAL WEEK OF JESUS <-- Here is the BP collection of cartoons remembering the final week of Jesus from Palm Sunday through His Ressurection.
Jo 21.. Rub-a-dub-dub.. Eleven Disciples in a Tub .. FISHING. Finally the days after Jesus resurrection were a celebration for his followers and these final days culminated with the Ascension into Heaven which allows this cartoonist with safe fodder for a cartoon imagining the awkward tension of his disciples one last time in the face of another miracle.
This page is a collection of Gospel cartoons featuring the life of Jesus Christ